Tis the season for holiday work parties. Depending on where you work or who you work with, this could be an enjoyable experience, or an ultimate snooze fest. Whatever the case may be, there are rules and regulations to these things. Here are some guidelines on what to do, what not to do, and how to survive the holiday work party.
Do Actually Go to the Event
No matter how much you hate your job, it could potentially hurt your reputation or chances of advancing if you do not attend. So suck it up! Have fun!
Do Bring the Perfect Date
By perfect we mean one that is perfect enough to make your night as entertaining as possible. This does not necessarily have to be a significant other. It could be a sibling, a best friend–basically anyone who has the same sense of humor as you do so you guys can laugh and make fun of your co-workers together. Make sure this person is also pleasant and social so you can impress your co-workers with your cool guest. Your date is a representation of you.
Don’t Get Shitfaced
We know, our eyes get all wide-eyed too when we hear the words “open bar” but chill, this is not the place to go ham. You and your date should drink to the point where you are in control of your actions, but drunk enough to have a good time. If you get wasted, there is no telling what you’ll say or do, so try to keep it classy. You don’t want to end up unemployed. And you don’t want to be the topic of discussion for the wrong things at work, unless you’re a basic bitch that likes that kind of drama.
Don’t Pig Out
Along with an open bar, there is nothing like a good buffet spread. If this were any other function, we would tell you to put on your best sweat pants and slam dunk like there’s no tomorrow, but we don’t wanna send you off like that. Don’t be the fat ass. This isn’t a barbeque. Take a couple of items that will soak up the liquor and hold you over until the party is over. Trust us. People will stare if your plate is looking like a mini volcano. We’ve been there.
Don’t Puke In Public
Hey, sometimes liquor can creep up on us when we least expect it. You’re not alone. If you start to feel nauseous, don’t wait until it’s too late and you have to make a scene running to the bathroom. Get that shit over with. Excuse yourself as if you are going for a pee break, then wait until the throw up comes out. We guarantee if you stare at the toilet for a few seconds it wont take long for the barf to come. You’ll come back feeling good as new. Don’t forget to rinse!
Just because everyone is drinking and more laid back than they are in the work place, it is still a work event. Don’t take this as an excuse to vent or blow off steam about work problems, politics or any other problems. Get a grip on yourself.
Do Make Good Conversation
Keep your conversation upbeat. Don’t talk about sensitive subjects that could offend or strike a debate. Do not even think about gossiping. No one ever likes the gossip girl. Make sure everyone gets a chance to talk.
Do Dress Appropriately
Ladies, don’t bust out you freakum nightclub dress and guys make an effort other than a collared shirt and some khakis. People from all up the ladder will be at this event and you want to make a lasting impression. Plus, this is one of the few chances you’ll have to show off your unique, but tasteful, style outside of work.
Do Have a Good Time
Don’t be the asshole that looks like they would rather be somewhere else. Even if you do, suck it up and be nice. It won’t kill you to have a good time. Don’t be afraid to strike up conversations. You might learn a thing or two about your co-workers that you didn’t know. Just don’t be the one who talks only about work. Then you’ll be known as the boring lame-o and people will avoid talking to you instead.
Do Not Dance Inappropriately
No twerking, no juking, no grinding, no lap dancing, NOTHING. No matter how good the music is, which we kinda doubt, do not bust out any moves that will embarrass you for the rest of your life. Once again this is work. Think of it like you are at your grandparents’ anniversary party. If you feel like dancing and they break out in the soul train line, go on ahead and get your lil two step on. But by any means, if your moves requires you to clear a certain amount of space, then you have went too far my friend.
Don’t Be a Cheapskate
If your office is doing secret Santa, don’t get something cheap or used. It’s not fair if you get something super dope and you gave your person a homemade Dollar Tree gift basket. We love us some Dollar Tree, but we don’t think your co-workers would appreciate it like we do.
Do Be Polite
Thank the staff working the event: servers, bartenders, valet and anyone else. While you’re drunk and partying, they’re getting paid more than likely minimum wage to deal with your mess so be nice. Thank the event coordinator and top management for hosting the party. If they are not present, send a thank you card. Please and thank you goes a long way. When you’re ready to leave don’t forget to say your goodbyes.
DO NOT HOOK UP
The golden rule of all the rules. This is not the time or the place to be choosin’. It doesn’t matter how long you have been crushing on that person or wondering what that mouth do. Don’t do it. Nothing good will come out of it. Your reputation is more important.