Holiday season is here, which means family overload. We are all about family and love them to death, but let’s be real, there is something about the family and holiday season combo that can push us over the edge. If you run into some trouble and need some saving, we’re here for ya. Here are some tips on how to survive this Thanksgiving… and Christmas if you need it.
1) Take a shot every time a family member asks, “how’s school?” or “why are you single?”
2) Place bets on which family member will start the first argument/fight.
3) If your sibling or cousin brings home an annoying date, entertain yourself by asking awkward questions until you have had enough of the fuckery.
4) Step out for a marijuana break. Lord knows you’ll need it. (BONUS: peer pressure one of your cousins into trying it for the first time. More entertainment for you.)
** Just be prepared to assume that everyone knows you’re high. More than likely they won’t know… but that paranoia is a bitch.
5) Afterwards, overdose on dessert.
6) Dare your younger cousins into doing stupid stuff. Lie and tell them they will get a reward.
7) Hide a backup wine bottle for yourself.
8) Find allies… aka your favorite relative(s) who feels the same and will participate in these shenanigans with you.
In the end, family is family. Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em. Be grateful and make the best out of the holidays.