We are the self-proclaimed snack queens. Whether it’s healthy or unhealthy snacks, we don’t discriminate. So one can only imagine our excitement when Halloween rolls around. FREE CANDY EVERYWHERE. We may be too old to trick-or-treat, but we will go to the extent of borrowing someone’s kid just to chaperone. By the way, who even made an age limit on trick-or-treating? Even when we can’t score a kid, staying at home with a giant bowl of candy is too dangerous. Let’s just say not every kid will be walking away with goodies. As snack experts, we are providing you with a trusty guideline of what candies NOT to buy. You don’t want to be known as the house on the block with weak ass candy. Trust us. People talk. Almond Joy The idea of Almond Joy sounds nice until you try it. It is the candy you would eat last only because you ran out of the good stuff. You try to give it another chance each year, until you begin to remember why you hate it so much. We’re only fans of coconut in our products, not our foods. We’ll admit there may be one or two exceptions, but Almond Joy certainly doesn’t come close. Kids will appreciate it if you didn’t buy this gross candy. Tootsie Roll What the hell is a Tootsie Roll anyways? Pure nastiness is what it is. Why someone would even think to pay for a whole bag of Tootsie Rolls just doesn’t make sense. Unless you have no taste buds or enjoy being cruel to kids, don’t waste your money on these things. Instead opt for its amazing cousin, Frooties, that we mentioned in our previous Chicago Snacks post. If you have some left over you can enjoy them and not throw them out like you do Tootsie Rolls. We know that’s what always happens. Dots Dots is one of the MOST misleading candies because who doesn’t love gummies?! When you get Dots you think you are going to bite into gummy, chewy goodness. However with Dots, you are only stuck with a gooey sticky mess in your teeth. These things are THEE WORST to get stuck in your teeth. By the time you get it out you are so over it to the point where it’s not even worth another bite, let alone another piece. There is no way to enjoy this candy. Peppermint Pattie When is the last time you’ve seen someone buy or ask for a Peppermint Pattie? We’ll wait. Strawberry Bon Bons This is the candy that your grandma sneaks in your hand thinking she’s doing you a favor. Of course you accept then toss it when she’s not looking. This is only acceptable from grandma, not for Halloween. Dubble Bubble Gum Dubble Bubble Gum is Halloween laziness. This is what you buy when you shop last minute and all the good stuff is sold out. Not gonna lie, kids do chew on these things, but DAMN; after 20 seconds the flavor is gone! Dubble Bubble’s do make some amazing bubbles, but we’ll pass on these. Raisins May sound funny, but we have received our fair share of raisins when trick-or-treating. We grew up in diverse neighborhoods with immigrants who weren’t so hip to Halloween so they get a pass for this. But if you know better then you’re just not fair. Don’t get us wrong, raisins are cool, but on Halloween we prefer them covered in chocolate. Hot Tamales We’ve had some debate with these from some people, but we are not fans. It feels like you are swallowing Big Red gum. No thanks. Lemon Heads Lemon Heads are so annoying. They are just as useless as jawbreakers. The outer lemon flavor is good but once that part dissolves it’s the hard piece inside that throws you off. You think you’ve scored big because it’s a box filled with candy, but it’s really just a box of disappointment. Smarties Another useless candy. Just pure sugar. Candy Corn Who decided that corn as candy would make for a good treat? The taste and the texture is just all bad. This might be the all time worst candy that makes everyone’s list. If you avoid these candies we can guarantee you will be the Halloween MVP .